Always traveling, at 4:00am, laying in this unfamiliar bed, listening to Iron & Wine trying to go to sleep, I just cant help letting my mind wander. So I am getting it all out.
I have always known this to an extent… I am very blessed. I was born in a middle class family, I have great friends, extremely supportive family that has supported every decision I have ever made, a god who cares for me, a plethora of material things, but still I feel unsatisfied with my life. I am constantly fighting my constant need to find my “soul mate.” It baffles me how no matter how busy our lives are and how much we have going for us, our mood can be brought down so easily by the fact that we are “alone”.
I understand to the fullest that god is enough. I believe this in its entirety, but he still gives us the longing to find the person we can spend our mortal lives with. He made Eve just for Adam!!! It is pretty humorous that all our friends that are currently in a healthy relationship cant wait to remind you that everything else in your life is enough, but then a month later when they are in the same single position… they are right there with you. Haha.
I definitely never cared this much when I started dating. Honestly video games, skateboarding and my saturday sitcoms were enough to keep me happy. I think i feel the way I do is because I had a taste of what I have always heard people say what love was supposed to feel like. And now I want the whole thing. I realize this post might sound like I am some desperate boy who is just lonely and willing to settle, but that is just the opposite. My vision has never been so clear to see who my future will be with.
She will be brave and adventurous, willing to adventure and travel spontaneously but still enjoys lazy days laying in bed all day listening to music. We will take risks because playing it safe only produces results everyone around us has already experienced. Not only will she be the most beautiful person I have ever seen, but she will go un noticed to other men because her radiant love for me will hide any availability.
I will love you without knowing how, or when, or where from. I will love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride. I will love you because i know no other way.
With that being said I feel my mind starting to relax. Goodnight.