Everyone always says, “enjoy the little things in life.” These are a few of my little things i thought about today… morning coffee while records are playing, the warmth of the sun when laying on my floor, wearing business socks to bed, shopping for old books and records, giving/receiving mix cds, writing and receiving letters, cheek kisses… there is just something way to adorable about cheek kisses that gets me! Bike riding, long conversations, recording a song using a tape deck, grocery shopping, painting in the nude, driving long distances, playing a song from a juke box, having the occasional cigarette, showering in the dark, the hug you have when seeing a friend you havnt seen in a very long time. Being told im appreciated, someone asking for my help, recognizing gods works, drinking a free beer, reading in a hammock, hitting golf balls off of a cliff into Folsom Lake, running into a local friend while in a completely different state… and many more.
I try to write a poem, journal entry, interesting thought, life question or interesting words in my sketchbook everyday. On occasion I will go back and use certain thoughts or ideas for songs.
I wrote this poem a couple months ago at a coffee shop and I never thought I would make it a song, because I enjoy a meaningful lyric or phrase by itself. However, I got inspired to make this into a song. So I spent a little bit of time today and recorded my idea. I will record the vocals tomorrow and post it.
Just wanted to post the lyrics first. Im pretty sure I will always be a hopeless romantic.
My Rebecca got away.
At least thats the name I gave Her when I saw her face
I cant say that I am brave.
Just a boy with a book, drawing on every page of things that I would say…
But I refrained and still to this day…
Rebecca was her name.
The one who got away.
Rebecca she was safe.
With a coffee receipt in a book that would save her page.
As much as I could tell
From the curl in her hair, to the cup where the coffee spilled…
That she was heaven, and I prayed to get in, and now i’m sure…
23 . twenty three . vingt-trois . veintitrés . 二十三 . είκοσι τρία . dreiundzwanzig . drieëntwintig
I am unremittingly being reminded how old I am and what I have accomplished so far in my life. Today I was asked by three separate people, “How much schooling do you have?” “What is your career?” “Are you married?” Are you kidding me?!?! I am 23 years old and I feel I haven’t even started living life yet. I have lived on my own in 3 different cities, gone to college, been in a full time band for years, worked the classic coffee shop job and retail, have had serious and not so serious relationships, life has been born in front of me and family has died in front of me. On paper I have had my fair share of experiences, but somehow it is all a blur. When friends say, “remember that time we…” it all seems to blur.
My ensuing fear is that when I am 85 living in the retirement home my persistent kids forced be to live in. I don’t want to remember a blur. I am 23 (almost 24) and I am in the prime of my life. If i’m going to travel, play music, find my life long friends, find my life long love, be spontaneous, experience everything once, then I am going do it NOW! I am going to have tattoo’s all over. Who cares if they are in places not appropriate to the business world. Not meaning to sound vein, but I will probably never look/feel as good as I will in my 20’s. Im healthy and energetic. So why wouldn’t I want to live it up and enjoy my youth instead of preparing for the future all the time.
I am no longer preparing. I will be in the now.
This is a rare point in my life, but I seem to finally have a safe amount of money and I want to do something extreme soon. A defining chapter in my life. I will know what it is when the idea hits me at 4 in the morning and I decide to get up and do it.
I was reading an interview with Ben Gibbard (Death Cab For Cutie) and the interviewee asked, “what is the meaning behind the song The Sound Of Settling?” Gibbard said that he comprised a list of all of the things that he wanted to find in a soul mate. When he made the list, he realized that no one could match up to his list. There were times where it might have been possible that he met that person, but then ruined it by getting in his own way. However, he did marry Zooey Deschanel. So im sure he is pretty stoked on life :)
So I decided to make my own list and see what it looks like. I have always had mental notes of what I liked and didn’t. This is my first time writing it down… don’t judge!
She will be, in a sense, beautifully flawed. I have noticed in my relationships that seeking perfection causes too much stress and worry. She must most importantly be happy with who she is with all her strengths and all the imperfections that make her unique.
She will dream of lofts in the city instead of houses in the suburbs. Going to San Fran for the weekend wont be considered traveling. Trips to France, Africa, Japan and Brazil will be her destinations. I hope that she loves the lord, but does not live in a legalistic world. Although there are shades of grey in our world, we will make the right choices on the morals we have learned in our lives and never judge someone for thinking differently. Their paths are just as important as ours.
Her tattooed, fair skin will show her artistic side. Whether she sings for a band or can barely sing along with the radio, its just important that she sings. I can see her loving to dance, but hating to go to night clubs! Even though there are parts of me that are extraverted, I don’t think I could handle a wild woman. I love introverted days too… spent in bed day dreaming. I can be the forward thinker with something quick to say, but I can also be the timid, nervous boy that is to afraid to say hello. I hope she is the same.
Bike rides, painting, cooking, writing songs, analyzing music, movies, being able to sit down and almost watch an entire season of a t.v. show because its THAT good. Its not important that she would love these things, but that she would try them and play along because she knows its important to me. I think that would mean even more to me.
You might be thinking, Kyle, if you are saying these things out loud for all to read, what’s stopping people from learning these pass codes and secret words how to get on your good side. That’s a good thought. I have found that in my relationships, no matter how much one person pretends to be a certain way. They are always exposed for what they really think, believe, feel, calculate, process, etc…
I have a guarded heart, and so will she. Love needs to be earned, not given away.
I hope that I have not met this person yet. And if I have, that I have not missed my chance by misfortune or being an idiot. I am happy for my friends that have found their other. I don’t mind waiting for mine.
I hope that this entry does not portray me as the lonely man with one thing on his mind. Some nights are lonely. Some nights are incredible!!! Its just the human condition to think these things over. Goodnight.
p.s. i would like to see some other peoples lists.
For as long as I can remember I have always had a weird animosity with musicians using their own name as their band name. Yes… I realize that for the past 3 months i have been promoting “Kyle Monroe" for this EP I released for charity, but to be blunt, I have felt uneasy about it the whole time. Not that I have any indisposed feelings for the Dave Mathews and and Regina Spektors of the world, I just feel its not for me. With every instance I show someone my music or say "solo project," I feel extremely concieted and self absorbed. I realize I am probably just over thinking the whole process, but at the same time I want to make sure I am comfortable with my songs and the image placed upon them to people.
So for the next album I am releasing I want to have a band name that interprets my songs appropriately. Not to say that I am starting a band, but that I am making an album less about “me” and more about “music.” I feel really good about this, and I hope I am not offending anyone that promotes their name as their band. I have so many friends that do so and it would seem weird if they didn’t. Just explaining the path I am taking.
If you could do me a favor… go to the temporary music page I have for now www.facebook.com/kylemonroemusic and listen to “you’re all that i have" & "no past or destination.” What are the first images that pop into your head?! example: clouds, hopeful, despair, tree… anything that pops into your head. Let me know!!!!! I would love to hear how these songs make you feel.